Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Seagate Light #1 - Seagate's Official Newsletter


THE SEAGATE LIGHT  


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Seagate Cribs check out the cells of your neighbors
THE AMAZING FIRST ISSUE!

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Note From Warden Tyler                                                                                                             
I have allowed the use of Prison resources and time on the creation of this newsletter in the hopes that it will provide some of you with skills that you can use outside of these hallowed walls.  The newsletter is a privilege and I will be watching both the newsletter and its effect on our population closely.  Any signs of incitement and the newsletter privilege will be revoked.  Use this resource wisely, carry on.

Seagate Going Ons (What we like to call news)                                                                         
Trevor Slattery - While filming a documentary the inmate Trevor Slattery disappeared.  Please contact the Warden immediately if you have information regarding his disappearance.

The cafeteria is excited to announce that Sloppy Joes will be returning to Fridays, as well as Taco Tuesday next month.

The ongoing vandalism in the Bathroom stalls with etchings like "Whirlwinds rule" "Rivals are King" and "Chessmen Forever" will not be tolerated.  The situation is being monitored by the guards.

Dr. Noah Burnstein is a scientist requesting volunteers to undergo a experimental medical testing.  Prisoner will receive a letter of recommendation from the warden as well as a reduced sentence.  Only you can know if the risk of growing extra eyeballs, and glowing skin are worth it.  Neither Seagate nor Dr. Burnstein will be held liable for side effects of the experimental procedures.


Poetry                                                                                                                                              
The poetry selection was made by inmate Trevor Slattery prior to his sudden disappearance.  We felt with his enlightened Shakespearean background he could select an entertaining piece.  He selected the poem Ozymandias on the fall of Kings and Empires by Percy Shelley. Enjoy:

 
Ozymandias
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away


Meet your fellow Inmates                                                                                                                      

Name:  Carl Lucas
From:  New York City - Harlem
Favorite Music:  Anything by Tupac
Favorite Movie:  Kill Bill - A story of revenge, I can relate.
Favorite Book:  Count of Mont Cristo
Favorite Food and Why:  Fried Chicken because it tastes great and goes with anything.
Least Favorite Food and Why:  Fish because it smells like Fish.  Plus they look funny.

Here are your winning Jailbird Bingo Numbers



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Can you solve the Seagate files?  

JQ